A few weeks ago, an idiotic acquaintance of mine, who keeps claiming to be my girlfriend, invited me to watch a movie. It was a good thing that I am in a good mood to kill my brain cells for an hour and a half movie or else I would have given her a swift kick to her face. But still with her bitching, she still deserved a swift kick to her face so I gave her one.
Fast forward to the movie house, I knew something horrifying awaits me because I saw a lot of stupid movie posters. Then the ticket saleslady was also stupid. The popcorn and snacks vendor was also stupid. And the guard was also stupid. I bet this movie will be stupid too.
Fast forward again after the movie, I was in the men’s comfort room washing my eyes with alcohol. Shit! What I saw was an asinine movie! It sucks donkey nuts!
“Memoirs of a Geisha” was supposed to be a story of a Japanese girl that became a geisha and her life story. So why the fuck the leading character and most of the supporting characters are not even fucking Japanese! The leading character was a Chinese for Christ’s sake! Only Ken Watanabe and Youki Kudoh are Japanese! The movie is just so fucking stupid! And what made my brain cells rot even more is that these people are talking in English in the whole movie, coupled with idiotic accent. Holy shit! That’s just so genuinely Japanese like ordering a Chinese Chop Suey in a Filipino restaurant in Chinatown.
Of course, idiots will say that “Hey Derick, you’re stupid. The movie is superb and beautiful. You’re just bitter because the movie doesn’t have Japanese in it.” Fuck you idiot! The book is also asinine because it wasn’t really a memoir of a geisha. Arthur Golden is also fucked-up pervert because the auctioning of virginity isn’t even in the custom of Gion. Arthur Golden worked together with Mineko Iwashi to write the book but Arthur Golden probably took a good whiff of weed before writing the book because nothing that Mineko Iwashi dictated to Arthur Golden showed up in the book. Golden for sure wrote a look of sex in the book in order to sell his goddamn awful book. And the fucked up part of this is that Golden disclosed Iwashi’s identity. Because of his bullshit, Iwashi has been receiving a lot of death threats. So Iwashi kicked Golden in the nuts and sued him for what his worth.
“Memoirs of a Geisha” is only enjoyable for idiots. Do you know why? Idiots are more likely to know nothing about Japan and its culture. That is why it is enjoyable for them. But for people who use their brain, like me for example, views this asinine movie as pure crap.
From what I see, the star cast of “Memoirs of a Geisha” is composed mostly because of star power. But these celebrities are still fucking idiots who can’t act. And what is more fucked up here is that Golden copied the concept of the 1978 film "Pretty Baby" where a girl of 12 years’ virginity was auctioned in New Orleans. Great job Golden! You win the award for ripping off themes from obscure film.
So in conclusion, “Memoirs of a Geisha” is perfect for perverts who want to fuck Japanese women. This stupid fucking movie isn’t about geishas or their lives at all. It is all about romanticism of female subjection, which perverts like.
So if any fucker wants to recommend me watching this fucking movie or recommend me to read the asinine book, I will be so kind to do a favor to humanity, I will kick the fucker’s face and crotch.
Listed in Technorati under humor, comedy, movies
